Applying The Power of Now to Eating Disorder Recovery (Part Two)

Happy Sunday! Things have been slightly chaotic lately with lots of work and school deadlines and events, but the pretty April flowers have a way of making everything seem very storybook-like despite awful springtime allergies. I'm working on an essay right now about the relationship between environmental and human health (both mental and physical), and last week I hosted a fundraiser at school for an organization supporting artists in Guatemala and Nicaragua. (If you're interested in supporting these artists, too, visit wwww.pulseraproject.org.)

I'm excited to be sharing Part Two of Applying The Power of Now to Eating Disorder Recovery. Tolle's book can really be applied to anything in life, but the way it connects to eating disorders has been very powerful for me, and the section I'm reading now--all about the "inner body"--has profound implications for the disconnect that occurs in the throes of an eating disorder. In anorexia, my mind, body, and soul all separated from one another. My soul took the backseat to my mind--which was "infected" with insidious thoughts--and my body became an object that I had to control and obsess over.

UGH.

Yoga has been very helpful for me in recovery because it is focused on connecting the mind, body, and soul back together. "Yoga" literally means "to yoke"--pull together--and by linking breath, movement, and intention, I'm slowly figuring out how to stitch myself back into a whole spirit-person again. Eastern philosophy emphasizes the "bodymind," and if you're trying to recover, please remember that, though you aren't your physical body, there is a profound and beautiful connecting energy force coursing through you that links your physical self with your spiritual (true) self. Also remember that when Eckhart Tolle refers to "connecting to the body," he usually means the "inner body." We'll get to that now :).

The "inner body" is not part of the external world. Rather, it is the invisible energy running through you that makes you who you are and enables you to become "rooted within" (Tolle 98). Think of yourself as a tree. The inner body is the complex root systems coming up from the earth and spreading up and into your trunk.

Here are some excerpts from The Power of Now that may help make the concept of the inner body more understandable:

"Direct your attention into the body. Feel it from within. Is it alive?  . . . Can you feel the subtle energy field that pervades the entire body and gives vibrant life to every organ and every cell?" (p. 93)

"The art of inner-body awareness will develop into a completely new way of living, a state of permanent connectedness with Being, and will add a depth to your life that you have never known before." (p. 98)

Your inner body is "formless, limitless, and unfathomable" (Tolle 93), and you can connect with it at any moment to pull yourself out of your head. It's difficult to connect to the inner body because we've been so conditioned to be focused on the external and on the mind, but try to take a few moments every day to consciously tap into the energy field within yourself. Even if you can only do it for a second, it will help ground you, and over time, connecting within will become less of a challenge. Meditation and yoga or any other sort of mindful activity/exercise can strengthen your bond with your inner body, and I highly recommend picking up a hobby that encourages inner-body awareness.

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Confessions of a Cortisol Junkie

I come from a long line of cortisol junkies. We treat coffee and green tea like they're food, prefer intense cardio sessions to relaxing movements, stay up late working, and even wash our faces with anxious rapidity.

Where do we get all of this energy if we're eating sparingly and sleeping shallowly? Is it magic? A gift?

No. It's just cortisol.

Found on Pinterest.com

Cortisol is a hormone released by the adrenal cortex in times of stress. It's one of the key hormones of the "fight or flight" response, and, while it's very much necessary in the body, Mama Nature never intended for it to be our go-to fuel source. (As all of us eating disorder warriors need to recognize, the best go-to fuel source is food. Which means that survival depends on eating. Sigh.)

My tendency to run on cortisol (both literally and figuratively) has really contributed to my tendency to engage in restrictive eating behaviors. Feeling empty gives me energy, but what I'm learning is that the human body can only take so much depletion before it gives up. Chronic jaw issues, dry skin, and anxiety are some of the symptoms that are triggering me to realize that maybe the cortisol junkie lifestyle isn't very sustainable. And many of the women in my family who are also cortisol junkies have suffered a plethora of health conditions related to their adrenal systems.

Cortisol breaks down our bones and causes inflammation in our bodies, and when we're malnourished, we tend to have even more anxious, self-deprecating thoughts than we normally would.  Ever notice how not eating makes it more difficult to eat? Yeah. It's a vicious cycle, and the only way to break out of it is to make the conscious choice to not give into your desire for the cortisol-induced "high."  Think of yourself as a WARRIOR. Be STRONGER than whatever mean voice exists inside your mind.

You are not your thoughts, and whenever you're tempted to engage in an eating disorder behavior, remember that you are WONDER WOMAN, and you're flawless.

From giphy.com 

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