We Need Compassion in Recovery and in Life

Before I get into this post, I want to address just how devastating the news out of Indonesia is. The footage of homes washing away and mothers weeping over photos of their missing children have been on my mind all week, and I keep wishing that I could rewind time and undo all the horror. The only comfort I've found is in the words of Mr. Rogers: 

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'"

When airplanes were trying to land during the tsunami, a 21 year-old air traffic controller stayed at work long enough to make sure that they landed safely and then lost his life as the waves crashed into and destroyed the control tower. And throughout the rest of Indonesia, everyday heroes are saving family members, neighbors, and strangers in the wake of unconscionable tragedy. These are the helpers Mr. Rogers was talking about. They're the ones who are here to remind us that there is still good in the world and that we have absolutely no excuse not to contribute to it.

Compassion is consideration and sympathy for pain and suffering, and it is free of judgement, hate, and criticism. It's the antithesis of an eating disorder because it emphasizes love an attunement, not disconnect and hate.

From Quotesgram

A friend dealing working on through own recovery process recently shared that her "teen-hood" will be ending soon and that she spent the majority of it with disordered eating behaviors. 

"Disordered thoughts weren't on my mind all the time, and I'm grateful to have had the adolescence I did. But, admittedly, every year was marked by some sort of disordered eating issue. Restriction, fear, overexercise . . . ."

That part about the thoughts not being on her mind "all the time" is significant to me because, for many people recovering from eating disorders, it can be easy to forget that the disordered mindset is abnormal and needs constant work. Obviously, it's good if you've found things in life to focus on that aren't body-related, but if you're happy or distracted until some food fear triggers you, then you've got more work to do and can't afford to stagnate in quasi-recovery. The tricky thing is that you actually have to work on recovering. Ugh, work, I know. Why can't we just decide one day to be recovered and then move on? Why do we have to consciously face change and uncertainty? Why can't it be easy?!

Every meal plan increase, exercise cut, or unplanned meal brings a chaotic cascade of discomfort, but that discomfort is just a reminder that the eating disorder isn't totally defeated yet. It may take a long time to go away completely, but until then our job is to be stronger than it is, even if that means consciously, actively choosing to combat it every day.  Just remember to focus on compassion, Mr. Rogers, and the fact that recovery is an active process.

Recovery is an opportunity to be your own hero, and then from there, you can be a hero for others, too.

<3

Wolves and Stardust

I was excited to find Women Who Run with the Wolves in my college's library last week, and every page of it holds poetry and power. Metaphors, myths, and stories are such incredible learning tools, and exploring the psyche alongside characters like Vasalisa the Wise and Baba Yaga is equal parts exciting and inspiring.

When I was little, I loved all kinds of stories and legends, and I thought that there was a very thin veil between our world and the "spirit world." I completely understand that not everyone will resonate with this sort of spirituality, so feel free to think of it metaphorically if that makes more sense to you. But based on my studies of literature, history, art, and physical health, I like to think that we are deeply connected to the earth and to each other.

In Women Who Run with the Wolves, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes refers to the famous opening line "Once there was, and once there was not" as a "paradoxical phrase ... meant to alert the soul of the listener that this story takes place in the world between worlds" (71), and for some reason, this line made something click inside me. Suddenly, so many of the life-draining, soul-sucking, self-bashing elements of the very physical, very aggressive culture we're constantly bombarded with seemed to be significantly less important and less powerful. The "world between worlds" reached out and said, "Yes, there's this physical stuff, and yes, that's relevant, but remember what/who you actually are, okay?"

Found on Pinterest

<3 <3 <3

Inspiration for Today

My brother this morning: "Is it really only Wednesday?"

The news this morning: going back and forth between tragic and inspirational.

We need more cute bunny stories and fewer heartbreaks.

Here's some inspiration for today. (I may have spent some time on Pinterest while getting ready for work . . . )

And, of course, a song:

"Life is Better With You" (Michael Franti and PS22 Chorus)

<3 Frances

Nourishment, Flexibility, and Self-Respect

I almost forgot it was January when I woke up on Monday. In my mental calendar, we were still in the month of candy canes and hymns, and it's only now that the "spring" semester has started up again that it's hit me that it's 2018.  Another year!
Of course, the whole "new year" transition means that everyone is coming up with resolutions. The "new year, new me" mindset is pervasive--rarely do we see so many ads about diet and fitness routines!  Please remember, though, to filter the "diet talk." There's a good and a bad to everything, and while diet/fitness reminders can be motivating for some people, they can be harmful to others. Life is about balance, not extremes, and if you tend to be a bit of an extremist (I speak from experience!), please make all your health choices consciously, focusing not on limitation, control, and self-punishment but rather on nourishment, flexibility, and self-respect.

NOURISHMENT, FLEXIBILITY, AND SELF-RESPECT

 

That said, I know that "nourishment, flexibility, and self-respect" may sound a little bit self-indulgent. But taking care of yourself enables you to give out to others. There's a beautiful affirmation by Louise Hay that I want to share here:

http://bmindful.com/forum/thread/7900/loa-loving-wonderful-health-affirmations-etc

This affirmation captures the whole idea of "pouring from an empty cup." Simply put, you can't give what you don't have--eventually, you'll burn the candle at both ends and run out.  I've seen so many of the beautiful, strong women in my family do this.  Fueled on nothing but coffee and cortisol, they push themselves as hard as they can, but then one day they hit a wall. Adrenal fatigue, autoimmune disease, stroke . . . chronic cortisol isn't the healthiest energizer! It will only enable you to go so far, but then it'll backfire on you.

http://adrenalfatigue.org/stress-and-your-health/got-stress/stress-affects-body/

Even though I, too, have been known to feed off of cortisol, I really am writing this post for people like my grandmum who for years have been giving giving giving without ever stopping to take care of themselves.  It's the NEW YEAR, so while everyone is using this as an opportunity to make a diet/fitness resolution, maybe take a deep breath and resolve to find some peace for yourself. Inhale, exhale. The work will always be there, but if you allow yourself to heal a bit instead of just working yourself to exhaustion all the time, you won't burn that candle out.  Here are some quick fixes for cortisol spikes:

Yoga for Stress Relief -- 7 Minute Practice

 

Meditation for Stress

 

Phnom Penh Lullaby

 

Much love!
<3 Frances

To Risk for a Butterfly

"Yellow decided to risk for a butterfly."

-Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

 

It's been almost four months since I've posted anything here or even opened a draft, but sometimes silence is needed for words to come, and I'm excited to be writing again.  Combined with the eclipse and a new school and a new job, it's almost like a new chapter is opening up, and I hope that, as the moon passes over the sun tomorrow, there will be a shift that allows the universe to open up to better, happier, more peaceful things for everybody.
When I was little, my great-grandmother shared a story with me about one of her dear friends, Janet.  Janet had a deep appreciation for all of the beauty of the natural world--especially rainbows. When she was in her fifties, she spent a day with her mother and my great-grandmother.  It was a perfect day, but during dinner that evening, Janet began choking and couldn't breathe.  "She died," my great-grandmother told me. "But the next morning, there was a rainbow."
I've held that story in my heart with me for so long that I can find its essence in all of my writing, and I kept thinking of it when we were in Santa Fe this July to honor my great-grandmother. On the day of her ceremony, we were all outside, and it began raining.  Not enough to force us indoors, but enough for a rainbow, and I took it as a sign of my great-grandmother being there, with us, watching over us. (I know that not everyone is drawn to spirituality/religion/etc., but for me personally, I've found great comfort in a belief in spirits and ghosts and saints.)

"The Lotus and the Rose" by Dixie Gladstone

As for how butterflies figure into this . . . recently, I've struggled with a lot of anxiety.  My mum has been trying to help me with it, and I've been coming to the realization that it's okay to "let go." "Letting go" doesn't mean not working hard or giving up ambitions and commitment.  Rather, it's a way of opening up to trust and acceptance.  By relaxing ourselves and opening ourselves up instead of shutting down/closing off/becoming rigid, we're actually much more effective than we are when we live in fear and angst and stiffness.  My grandmother and my great-grandmother both believed in this, and on a difficult Wednesday a few weeks ago, I was at work and found a pile of "giveaway books" sitting on a dusty stairwell.  Stuffed beneath several math textbooks was a copy of Hope for the Flowers, Tina Paulus' beautiful, poignant allegorical picture book that's "partly about life . . . partly about revolution . . . and lots about hope . . . for adults and others (including caterpillars who can read)".  My mum used to have a copy of Hope for the Flowers herself, but she gave it away to a friend at a time when they really needed its love and optimism, and finding it felt like a meant-to-be miracle because it's not the easiest little book to come across. To avoid giving away too much of the plot, Hope for the Flowers is about caterpillars and their lives as they journey to become butterflies, and it makes a brilliant point about the courage it takes to become a butterfly.  I mean, think about it: you spend x amount of time as a caterpillar, and you get pretty comfortable, and then all of a sudden you're supposed to wrap yourself in a cocoon and put all your faith in the universe that you'll come out alright on the other end of the process. Anyone who has ever seen a dried up chrysalis with a dead caterpillar inside knows that getting into a chrysalis and hoping for the best doesn't always work out for our poor caterpillar friends; they really have to be brave.  But becoming a butterfly is worth the risks involved, isn't it?  If you want to make changes--real, remarkable, lasting changes that will make your life better--a  little risk is involved.  I'm not saying step into a place that is dangerous or that will hurt you just to "change" (there's a difference between "uncomfortable" and "harmful"), but try stepping out of your comfort zone sometimes.  I need to hear this just as much as/sometimes even more than anyone else does, and, as the school year picks up, I'm doing my best to embrace the opportunity to let go and open up. Take a deep breath.  You can do this.  You, too, can "risk for a butterfly."

<3 Frances

Quan Yin

At some point around 10:30 last night, I found myself reading aloud from a very old book of Chinese folk tales.  Random?  Yes. Worth it? Yes.  The smell of old books is, as anyone who's ever spent a million hours in a library or thrift store can tell you, pretty perfect, and so are Chinese paintings.  Looking at them is almost like meditating, and since I'm still not all that good at meditating, I'm using them as a sort of substitute for it.

 

Anyway, one of the folk tales I found was about Quan Yin (or Guan Yin or Kwan Yin, depending on your spelling preference), the Chinese Goddess of Mercy.  She wanted to join a nunnery instead of marrying, so her emperor father tried to have her beheaded (!), but she was saved by a spirit in the form of a tiger sent by the Emperor of Heaven. Needless to say, she escaped decapitation and then "thought only good thoughts" until she became "perfect" and the embodiment of love and sweetness.  From then on, she used her goddess status to save and protect people and grant them mercy and kindness.  Long story short: she's a pretty awesome example of girl power inspiration.  I'm part Chinese (though I learned most of my Eastern religion stuff from my non-Chinese side of the family), and I've always loved Quan Yin.  I have a small wooden statue of her living with one of my hermit crabs.  Learning about her last night was major motivation to be a more consciously compassionate person. I have a lot of compassion and empathy for others that I always act on, but I'd like to be more compassionate with going with the flow of things.  We live in a world that's very GO GO GO, faster faster faster, do do do, and it's challenging to pull back and just let things BE. Let yourself BE.  Stop trying to change, and let go of control.  What you're desperate to control often ends up controlling you.

"Let the magic happen. It’s always there. Abundance and love are always there. Believe in the highest good. There is a higher essence to everything. The realm you’re in has a heaviness that mutes energy. You can penetrate through it, no matter how dark and heavy. Sometimes it has nothing to do with karma. Just don’t forget to keep it open. Don’t get too bogged down…Prosperity can happen at any time. I want to give you everything that you need.-Kuan Yin"
-Beneficial Law of Attraction: The Manifestation Teachings

 <3 Frances

Where Literature Meets Nature

With the heat wave that's going on right now, the approach of the new school year (aka next week), and hospitalized loved ones, these past few weeks have been c r a z y . But they're a good reminder of how important it is to appreciate little simple things for all they offer, and I'm going to go along with the random horoscope I read and say that the "power word" for the next few months is "change."  Embrace it, accept it, live with it.  It's challenging, but it can be meaningful. Change doesn't always mean bad...change can very often mean good. And it can encourage us to do things we otherwise might not have...like being a literature/history person and deciding to also pursue environmental science despite the fact that I'm not at all a scientist.  I have found, though, that there are many places where literature and nature overlap. My brother, ever the nature-lover, is reading The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery--a writer the Boston Globe described as "[p]art Emily Dickinson, part Indiana Jones."  Is that not one of the best combinations ever?  I think my favorite part of it is that Emily Dickinson is included because she loved the environment so much. I have an anthology of her poems, and it's divided up into different categories, one of the most well-known being "Nature." She cared so deeply for the natural world...she even had her own herbarium!  Seeing it is on my imaginary and unrecorded bucket list ;).  Another author who loved the natural world was, of course, the one and only Beatrix Potter.  Her enchantment with Earth isn't all that surprising given the fact that her illustrations and writings were all about plants and animals.

 



 



 

Nature is what we see

by Emily Dickinson

“Nature” is what we see—
The Hill—the Afternoon—
Squirrel—Eclipse—the Bumble bee—
Nay—Nature is Heaven—
Nature is what we hear—
The Bobolink—the Sea—
Thunder—the Cricket—
Nay—Nature is Harmony—
Nature is what we know—
Yet have no art to say—
So impotent Our Wisdom is
To her Simplicity.

 

 

<3 Franceshttp://www.aquarellepublishing.co.uk/img/artists/Beatrix-Potter1.png

Quotespiration

I don't quite know how it is that I've managed to find it more difficult to post now that the academic year is over, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I've got summer work and am also now doing more organizing, etc.  I also keep coming up with ideas for posts and then thinking I've posted them, LOL, even though I actually haven't (writer's imagination problems).   
With all that said, I've been doing some more literary research lately, and I recently came across writing by Antoine de Saint-Exupery's wife Consuelo.  She wrote "La Rose du petit prince," an autobiography about her life and her times with Antoine.

 

 

I know I've posted about Frida before, but I also recently saw the film Frida, and I was very moved by the scene in which she climbs to the top of the temple with Trotsky despite all their physical pain.  A lot of people are in pain, but they don't show it.  

 

 

 

 

Also...there's some very tragic news this morning, and I'm sending the Force for everyone who is struggling or suffering right now.

 

<3 Frances 



Jill's Library: World War I Poets

I once got so excited talking to historical archaeologists and special collections librarians during a field trip to a career expo that I didn't even realize that my school had moved to a different exhibit until I looked around and didn't recognize anyone.  Needless to say, it was a bit scary, but hearing about historical gardens and Edgar Allan Poe's transcript made the momentary fear entirely worth it. If you're a bibliophile, too, I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from :).

I'm sharing this anecdote because this post is a more literature/history-focused one.  I recently rediscovered my mum's collection of World War I poems and poets, and I fell totally in love with it (again).  There is something so moving about reading a poem by someone and then reading their story, and it's particularly tragic to learn that they died shortly after said poem was written.  Reading the beautiful words of Wilfred Owen, for instance, it was difficult to imagine he was killed only a week before the armistice was signed in 1918.  Writing keeps people alive by preserving voices and thoughts and moments, and the fact that so many of the early 20th century's greatest writers had their lives cut short by the very subject they wrote about--war--is so incredibly horrible. Reading about the war also really helps to put into perspective all of the things going on in the present.  While it is crucial to think about the good in the world, it's also necessary to recognize the bad, and there is a lot of struggle and suffering right now.  I often wonder what poetry--be it written or merely felt (because, yes, you can just "feel" a poem)--will arise from all that is happening today.

(Siegfried Sassoon)

 

 

<3 Frances

 

 

 

 

Inspiration: Frida Kahlo

Today's inspiration is none other than the beautiful painter queen herself: Frida Kahlo.  Frida helped pave the way for women in the art world, and we can all learn from her authenticity and strong sense of self.  Her life story makes her pretty hardcore, too.  She came down with polio when she was six years old, having to spend a significant amount of time bedridden, and her right leg ended up a lot smaller than her left.  She covered this with long flowy skirts, and, after recovering, participated in sports that were normally considered only for boys.  In 1925, when she was 18, Frida was in a bus accident that broke her spine and collarbone and sent a piece of iron through her abdomen.  Because of the accident, she had to be in a body cast for several months and ended up suffering from chronic and often debilitating bouts of pain for the rest of her life, and she was never able to have children.  But instead of letting this get her down, Frida channeled her suffering into something amazing: art.  She painted her body cast and, lying in bed with nothing but an easel and her own thoughts, made herself into one of the most influential artists ever known.  Go Frida.

<3 Frances 

Quotespiration for Today

We're one day from Friday.  Let's make it a wonderful Thursday :).

 

 

 

 

 

 

<3 Frances

Quotespiration

Here's a little quote inspo to get your day off on a literary note.

<3 Frances

Ground Control to Major Tom

We lost David Bowie this weekend. It's difficult to imagine that such an incredible artist is gone because his musical influence is still felt so strongly everywhere, and it's heartbreaking to hear that he was struggling with cancer.  With that said, here is our little tribute to him--and to everyone else out there that we've lost recently.  Love and light to all <3. 

"Space Oddity"

"Heroes"

Christmas Eve Thoughts

Merry Christmas Eve, darlings! Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope today is a merry, bright one and that you are able to be with people you love.  With that in mind, I'm sharing some thoughts today about loving-kindness and the importance of seeing things from a loving perspective.  The year will be over by the end of next week (crazy, right?), and it's important that we try to end 2015 and begin 2016 on a positive note.  Love is at the root of all good things in the world, and to perpetuate these good things, we should focus on and act with love whenever possible. 

 

Today, then, how can you act with love? 

Also, in the spirit of the season, here's a little music:

 

The Smashing Pumpkins: "Christmastime"

 

 

 

<3 Frances



Inspiration from the Universe

Happy Saturday, darlings.  We are deep into the holiday season now, and, while it has brought with it many happy things like twinkly lights and candles, there is also a lot of sadness in the world.  Combined with the stress of the holidays (trying to live up to expectations, etc.), this sadness can be overwhelming, but what I've come to find is that, if we want things to get better, we must go to a place of love as opposed to a place of fear or worry.  I know--it seems so obvious, doesn't it? Almost too obvious to be realistic?  But it isn't.  Love--love for yourself, love for those around you, love for Earth--is really a powerful tool that can be harnessed to do great things.



 

 

 

 

<3 Frances

 

 

Cosmic Thoughts for Today

Hi, everyone!  Happy Tuesday wishes for all of you.  We're just about halfway into December now, so we're approaching next year rather quickly.  It's crazy, isn't it?  But it's so warm here that it doesn't feel like winter at all.  It's odd to think that it's really the holiday season already and that 2016 will be here before we know it.

I've always been interested in intuitive healing and positive energy, and I saw a little post about the energy shift that is going on right now cosmically and how we can attune ourselves to it to make positive changes in our lives.  I know cosmic intuition-related things aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I find the positive messages inspiring and enlightening :).  This comes from Christine Clemmer.  I found it on the FB page for "Just Channeling."

Cosmic Consciousness December 14 - 20, 2015
After last week’s Ophiuchan New Moon conjunct Ixion, we now have direct access to our soul’s divine blueprint, and have begun planting seeds for THE greatest manifestation that will occur all through next year. The end of this week marks the start of a whole Mercury retrograde Cycle that promises unprecedented shifts and leaps in consciousness that our minds can’t begin to comprehend yet, but we will by the end of January.
For now, we are undergoing some powerful new alignments regarding the Mind/Body connection. Last week, Mars (the physical body) connected with the Uranus/Pluto square, and this week Mercury (the higher mind) makes a similar connection, sparking a huge upgrade to our operating system. Because Quaoar is still involved (the higher octave of Mercury), we’re sure to experience some super high frequency downloads that will awaken us to the highest truth of who we are, and lead us to that full deliverance here on Earth.
When the mind aligns with the soul’s higher purpose, we can gain a clear perspective of how every event manifesting in the physical world serves as an opportunity to support our original blueprint. Because the physical realm is literally the densest, heaviest manifestation and reflection of every thought, belief, reaction, and karmic pattern, it can serve as a powerful feedback mechanism of where we’ve been and what we’ve been focusing on. We are currently receiving the upgrade we’ll need to turn all that information into a new way of living.
The powerful relationship between the mind and body is all about communication and feedback. We’ve all learned so much about the power and potential of the Mind/Body connection, and there are amazing examples and studies that prove the mind’s capacity to transform and heal the physical body. Mercury represents the higher mind, and he is the Great Messenger. The physical body is a highly sophisticated feedback mechanism, and when we use our higher minds to communicate in a healthy relationship with the messages sent from the body, any physical condition, event, or relationship becomes a teacher and an awakener of higher consciousness. If we judge or fear the messages coming from the body, we can’t attune to the highest frequency of consciousness that’s possible.
Everything has the potential to bring us back to our soul’s higher blueprint. Every moment serves as an awakening from our Higher Selves. When we allow ourselves to fully receive, honor, and integrate the higher truth of any messages coming from the body, then the body can let go of the old fear based pattern. Once the message is received, the old vibrational pattern of the story shifts and dismantles.
The physical body will always provide a snapshot of neutral, honest feedback of what’s occurring holistically in this moment…the body never lies. Oftentimes, we don’t like the feedback, and we desire to change it, so we may try to affirm something different and use our ego will to force a different outcome, out of resistance to what we don’t like. However that creates more karma. The way to clear the body and manifest something new is to allow the old karmic residue to come completely up to the surface and out, to purge and release, without judgment, and actually receive the message of that energy pattern.
Most karmic debris is stagnant emotional residue held within the cellular memory of the physical body. If we react to the clearing by getting tripped up even more into the old patterns, then we’re repeating that karmic wheel of manifestation. So often, we get distracted by the temporary discomfort of the karmic clearing, that we begin to focus even more of our attention on those scenarios by incessantly worrying, fearing, and dreading the experience of the purge. Whatever we place our attention on is what we’re choosing to value in the moment…and that’s what we create more of. Every moment, we’re manifesting from our current state of mind. When the current state of mind is at one with Source, in the highest possible observer’s perch of Oneness, that’s where we see the potential, remember our limitlessness, and begin anew, as empowered visionaries and creators.
On December 19th and 20th, Mars conjuncts Haumea, Mercury connects with the Uranus/Pluto stepping stone, AND the Sun conjuncts Ixion and then Quaoar and the Galactic Center, preparing to hit the World Axis on the Solstice on the 21st. This makes for a HUGE weekend of planetary awakening and evolution. The Mind/Body connection is very personal, and also global, as our physical evolution is mirrored in the Earth, and vice versa.
Mars conjunct Haumea is the reflection of the wholeness of the physical body and the entire physical realm, and the divine perfection of each moment as it is, serving as the feedback messenger for evolution. We came here to evolve, and so everything in this physical realm is a holistic reflection of our consciousness, providing us a multidimensional view from our higher minds’ perspective of the ways in which we fragment from Source, and revealing the way back to Source, through defragmentation and reunification. There’s really nothing to do, other than shift our perspective and elevate our consciousness. Everything is already done.
Our origin is Love, Unity, and Light, and whatever we’re experiencing here that’s NOT that is the manifestation of separation consciousness. When we remember that we are still home, we are all always connected to Source, in Love, and as Light, we can experience a whole new world here on Earth.
We’re at the tipping point of shifting our collective consciousness, and it requires discipline to keep our minds focused on our divine blueprint as we witness and participate in the awakening, transmutation and resurrection of the planet. "I AM the resurrection and the Light" is a fantastic mantra to practice daily this week as we focus our minds on the complete and total transmutation that is occurring within us and everywhere on the planet.

<3 Frances  

Quotes for Friday

TGIF!  

There's something so singularly powerful about quotes.  To get you inspired for your last day of the workweek, here are a few favorites....

<3 Frances

Writer Struggles

Iris shared this really funny and entirely true quote with me the other day, and I can't help but to post it.

The sad thing is that when this happens, I just want to tell my imaginary friends, "Really?  Who else are you going to talk to?"  I love them, but it's difficult when they're not cooperating.  Those who have experienced this totally understand what I'm talking about.  Those who haven't may think I'm crazy.  

Here are a few more #writerstruggles:

successing.com

pinterest.com

imgarcade.com

pinterest.com

<3 Frances