Acne and Other Insecurities

Since middle school, I've struggled a lot with acne, scarring, and generally sensitive skin. I'm not quite sure whether my skin is "dry" or "oily" since it seems to vacillate between both states quite regularly, sometimes being both simultaneously! My hands and elbows, for instance, tend to be very dry and cracked, but on my face I have issues with clogged pores and frequent breakouts. Our skin is our largest organ, and for me, it's the first to react to allergens, stress, or lack of sleep. If I'm really worried about work or school, I'll wake up in the morning with a lovely red mark on my cheek or forehead. It's like a little reminder that I need to chill out.

While my skin has improved significantly over the years, I still have scars, and whenever I get a breakout, it not only hurts physically but also causes me a lot of insecurity. I look in the mirror and feel ugh because my nose is red and my face has puffed up around acne spots. 

From The Care and Keeping of You, a book my mum got me in middle school 

When I was thirteen and my acne was at its worst, a younger relative walked up to me and suggested that I "wash my face." Though this child meant well, their advice wasn't incredibly helpful because I already did wash my face. I washed it, I slathered creams and masks on it, I covered it in burning ointments, and I did my best to avoid things that aggravated it (dairy, lemon rinds, gluten, dust, and mold*). I also wore concealers and powders to make my acne less noticeable. 

Long story short: I put a lot more effort into my skin than most of my peers did, yet many of them had clearer skin than I did, and when my relative told me that I needed to "wash my face," he was basically suggesting that my acne was entirely in my control. It wasn't, it isn't, and it never will be.

I'm not writing this to complain about my skin woes or anything like that . . . I'm writing it to point out a major flaw in how we perceive others. Because of all the products, diets, programs, and remedies that we see in ads, we've come to believe that appearance is pretty much entirely dependent on how "hard" we work and how much "effort" we put in. There's this myth that if I follow a celebrity's diet and fitness plan, I'll wake up looking just like her one day, but the truth is that I will never have Taylor Swift's long legs no matter how many leg lifts I do.  I'm 5'2". She's 5'10".

Yes, lifestyle can have an impact on health. Exposure to toxic chemicals, antibiotic-laden meat, and major pesticides isn't "good" for any creature, human or otherwise. Getting some sort of fun, joyful activity--whether that's walking with your kids or dancing to 1980's pop music--benefits your mood and fitness. Washing your face helps keep it clean. By all means, treat your body respectfully.

But don't get caught up in the lie that appearance is a direct product of effort. The shapes of our bodies, whether or not we get acne or cellulite, and how symmetrical our faces are don't fall under the realm of our control. We're born who we are. It's not our responsibility to become Cindy Crawford.

<3 <3 <3 

*Please note that these are what cause me breakouts. Everyone has different sensitivities, and products with dairy and gluten can have amazing health benefits for some people! Don't fear food. Learn what works for your body!